Adding colour to my life...
I saw an interesting article in the press a couple of days ago regarding art therapy for stressed adults http://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/art/features/colouring-books-for-adults-how-the-french-are-going-crazy-for-crayolas-9883103.html so I thought why not? I went on amazon and bought a bookhttp://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/184994167X?psc=1&redirect=true&ref_=oh_aui_detailpage_o07_s01 Millie Marotta's Animal Kingdom and bought some pencil crayons. I haven't just sat there and coloured in for years. Now to be honest I am finding it a big stress, there are lots of patterns , and I am at the moment just putting swathes of colour over the patterns because I can't cope with the small details. But my son who is interested in art therapy told me it will come and as I get better and progress through the book the smaller details will be filled in. I'm looking at it as a work in progress, hopefully it will show me how I'm getting better over the weeks.
I phoned up work yesterday to inform them I'm still on a sicknote from my GP for another 4 weeks. They told me I've been referred to occupational health, that they want to assess me too before I think about going back to work. This is of course stresses me, I have loads of irrational thoughts and fears that maybe it's a ploy to get rid of me which of course it isn't. If I well I'd see how silly this is. I don't need a complex that they're all out to get me as well.
So tomorrow my GP is phoning to chat about how I'm feeling, I have to be honest, like I have been on here. But I know I'll hold back something, GPs don't judge and no they are not going to send me back to work as ill as I am. However I am worried he will say you are getting better, he's not going to see me taking the phone call in bed, after a night of not sleeping again. I am thinking now I'll be honest, tell him everything; the black black cannonball of sadness sat in my chest, how I'm struggling to be with my family because the noise stresses me, how everything looks grey and murky, how I really worry about everything.
Maybe I am mad?
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